is it even me?

posted on : 2 April 2010

i know you are suffering too

its so many things for you

is it even me?

but for me its you

every 24 hours seem so long, not without you

every 24 hours so less in the hope of meeting you

missing at every radii of mine

i feel so alone with you as your memories

for me its just you

you are gone so long

for things were calling you

far important in life

suffering for so many things new

and things you looking for

but

is it even me?

for me its just you

looking at the mirror

all I can find is you

though it holds my image too

when i break my gaze you disappear

n yet I dont appear

i may climb mountains

or drown by the shallow rivers

be by the cemetery

or in lively parties

theres always a web

connected to past present n future of you

my lips may smile

but eyes remain contorted

unless its you in flesh and blood

or breathing across the oceans

for me its just you

i wish all you do

all you suffer

vanish

when its Me.

and for you its Me as much,

as for me its You.

missing the attraction for love

posted on : 30 November 2009

pieces of magnet kept at distance

feel constant attraction

and when the distance dissolves

they become one..

no tension

no friction

no more intense attraction..

but pieces of magnet cant think

cant feel what they miss,

when they are no longer apart..

for now they are one,

and behave as one..

but we do..

we miss the attraction

of the magnets..

miss the tension

for that gave us the attraction..

we are humans

we are not mindless magnets

we dont attract always

we dont get attracted always..

but we love

we pray

we miss

we become contended

when we meet the one we love..

love is symphony

magnet is impulse..

we get triggered on impulse

and create symphony together with love..

mann laago..

posted on : 11 November 2009

Inspired from Abida's Kabir.

It starts with Kabir, then it follows me and finally ends with Kabir.

mann lagyo yaar fakiri me..

mann mera hai sthir nahi

chehra pal pal roye

ek chhoti haasi laga rakhi hai

ki mujhe na dekhe koye..

jab doodbun apne ander me

maila paani paaun

halki garmi, halka bhaari

jhat wapas aa jaaun..

har din prabhu ka naam japu

fir bhi chain na aaye

do pal sab achha lagyo

fir kalikh put jaye..

kaunhu jatan naay kare

ki ye bandhan mit jaye

par ye aisa chipak gaya

pal pal wapas aaye..

na hari hai na guru

hai par fir bhi nahi hain

hain par mere nahi hain

hain par mai hi shayad dur..

jab jo hota tab hoye

har andhiyara roye

jab tak andhiyara na jaye

tu bhi isme khoye..

mera

mann laago yaar fakiri me..

mere apne, mere sapne

posted on : 9 October 2009

har pal meri aankhon mein

kuchh chhote chhote sapne hain

kabhi hasste hain kabhi gaate hain

kabhi aansu bhi chalkaate hain

tum aa jao paas priye

inhe saath saath hum dekhenge

tum chhedoge mai ruthungi

tum pyaar se mujhe manaoge

in shabdon ko tu dekh priye

inme teri parchhayi hai

tu paas nahi kisne bola

ye dhun teri hi lagai hai..

late Starter

posted on : 24 June 2009

I thought I was brave,

very brave

And not scared, for I'll take everything head on.

I was wrong.

I was afraid of losing

Scared of failing

And that is why I never jumped,

Ran on the cliff,

Licked the razor sword

& never felt what the cold sword felt like

Exhilarating!!!

Its fun to loose

get scratched

get hurt

be inches away from the end..

But then its more fun

to jump in the ditch

and struggle to hold on

to bare thread

to live

and still love to live..

I have always started late in life!!

invisible ink under Time Over

posted on : 18 June 2009

you are as blank in my life as this page

unless written

you are words with invisible ink

they come all in jumble

and go as they come in wiff n puff

you are so much and all and more than all

when you are..

and when you untangle

you are incomprehensive mass

you are my mountain I cant see beyond

when you are in the way

and you are a mirage

invisible

when you are not

your are my river when my senses are overpowered

the comfortable water

splush of waves

smell of freshness

and then you dry up for no reason n season

cant even ask you who you are

coz i know nobody

for that is how you want it to be

and still you become my mountain, my river, my words and all

whenever you can be..

Pleasantville

posted on : 2 May 2009

It was like a painting

turning colors to a white board

hitting strokes of The Beauty

and vanishing the grays

it was done step by step

the way you teach joy of forming words

to an adult illitrate

and the way each block

got rich with pastles and shades of red orange blue

and the town got painted red

so wear this maroon sweater

now that you know the color

and make it rich with your golden heart

as a prize from us, who did not know!!

Hey hes gone into the TV

the cableman waiting to go

and now hes back in his bedroom

listening to his woeing mom

such a cute baby he is

consoling mom with wise words of joy

and they bickering with the unscheduled life of their own

and in the joys of procrastination.

naye shabd, nayi rachna

posted on : 4 February 2009

inn sheshon ki galiyon mein

fir neela paani bahega

nargisi parchhiyon pe

suraj ka peela sajega

shabdon ke her pher mein

arth ka nageena sajega

man karta hai

naye alif se likhun

aa maa baa paa

sab ho jahan chahe jab chahen..

khel ye shabdon ka

arth ke suron pe

ek madhur mahtavakanshee geet

kuchh zor ki beat

aur janma naya snageet..

navshishu ke haathon mein toote khilone ke tukde samaan

jod ke kalpana ke ghode samaan

khubsoorat navnirmaan

sirf meri aankhon ko hai pehchaan

aur jodh ke fir use todhne ka swaad

kalpana mein ghul jaane ka ahlaad

chitre hue parkhachchon mein ek nayi chaavi ko dekh

fir jut jaana

ek naye geet

ek nayi kalpana

ek naye nirmaan

ki ichha

ke saath

Ravan

posted on : 30 January 2009

my reasons change

so do my seasons

not just for the sake of rhyme

they dont just mean a dime..

my heart is so human

and so is my brain

it falters, it cries, it repents and falters again..

an so does my brain, just it does not accept

it softens

it molds

it bakes and cracken..

and softens again..

and so does my world

and the people around

and I become so many cookies

in different oven

in same life

one at a time

juxtaposition collisions(!!!)

posted on : 22 January 2009

Am I in love

am not sure..

though the object differs

feeling stays...

I m in love with love as always..

just got couple of objects to shower it on

long a lil` more

wait for the response or trigger..

Sometimes a lil` confident n sometimes not so..

“not so” maybe triggered by that something else..

but that always affects me a lot

making me tumble down the roller coaster..

for my life ahead

I'll have to learn to deal with it

anyhow..

by being in it with discretion

or learning to see myself that way..

why is Love such a foolish entity

wants to follow and not be followed

the more distant the object

dearer it becomes

n nearer the thing

it wanes with vanity..

dilemma of a ....

posted on : 11 January 2009

let it rise and i shall shine

it wont rise itself, then i will raise it

they say its not my productive day

and i otherwise have in plenty

could be true

but am clueless as to what to do

i think its better now

for i can sit and atleast type

and think, most crucial of all

but now, i cannot...

Manna

posted on : 28 November 2008

its been eons now

now that shadow faded..

asking me to throw colors on it

now and then..

and create a figurine out of it

I keep changing its contours

as I think about it

in different light, different shades

i becon it

to come back, a moment

and other, rub it off my memories

create a wasted utility of the object

its meaning of God's precious, one moment

and a wasted soul the other

its a heavenly smell beyond metaphor

pyramid's vision for Santiago

eldorado of me, a moment

a figure beyong recognition the other

its a beethoven melody

he forgot to create

anklet song of rain in summers

voice of oracle a moment

and others too

and yet

its a mirage

as I want it to remain

an` pleasure the imagination with its false existence

an` not shatter with its edges of common reality

break the chains..

posted on : 3 November 2008

that is right,

achiever's crave for life's small happiness

but cant live in mediocricity too..

my work

my study

my guy

my group

all a shadow of themselves

all dream of the best, for them

and am not in a mood to debate on the definition of greatness

but i know where i need to stand

how can i let myself keep onto things mediocre

more mediocre than me

had stipulated this much time to remain in oblivion,

but now no more

cant jump into another hoop of mediocricity

its not just one facet

but all aspects of it

cant build a wall around me

which binds me to this alreadygrown and surviving world

need to shift to those barren lands

to cultivate them

to see the greens from browns

and a cheerful smile

experience sunrays in a cloudy sky

its a bestseller to sell ferrari once u bought it

but no pleasure in selling a hired auto

i need my ferrari

to gift it

n not sell it

n find the solace

unless i have it

i wont know

what i lost, earning it..

its just me who knows

who needs to know

who needs to pursue

who need to achieve

who needs to go, find and have

my rocking time has not begun

and as I said the journey is more interesting than being there

the cacophony of being there..

posted on : 1 November 2008

the cacophony of being there..

when you least want to be here..

but dont know, where..

the space, the void, the bla..ack hole..

am I there, or on the road..

looking beyond the rocking roll..

its all around the wall..

its like one of the russian toons

I saw wen I was in school..

scary, weird, n confusing souls

haunting music n gibbrish tunes..

then I used to switch off the TeeVee

now no switches found..

am sucked in the movie

with witches around..

oh u are the survivor

with no life jackets around

voila!! even the waters missing

and the deep dive you about to take..

the mantra

posted on : 1 November 2008

some lifes happiness

found around afloat

in the air, swimming around..

waiting for you to care..

smile and be merry

smile and bring cheer around..

laugh at stuff not clear

laugh at things preposterous...

music incomprehensive

music delight..

sweet to the ear

soul to the sound..

sweet is the end

if it should come

all journey is a vacation

with love family and friends

so cheer laugh n be merry

for yourself and people around..

and what if all we knew

didnt exist

and it was all an anticlimax in a climax

n sweet beginings..

smiles and laughs and guffaws galore

oh its ended the way it could

book of possibilities and realities

afloat every shore..

lurking..

posted on : 11 October 2008

would it be easy for me to let go off it

as it had been earlier, i have always been very successful at it

but this time i guess things were different

and so am behaving differently..

sometimes i feel, it was easy

and i have managed to get over it

but most of the other time

i know its still there and very much there

and just hope not here to stay

but till the day there is no alternative

its ok if it stays

and after that it wont be important enough to stay

just i should not get in habit of being with it..

it should'nt be a happy existence for me

dishaaheen..

posted on : 10 October 2008

hum is safar mein

jeene ka bahana dhoondte hain

har qila fatah karke

kuch naye qile dhoondte hain

aadha safar hi hua hai abhi

har kalpana ko sach kiya hai abhi

har chhote chhote sapne ko

jee bhar ke jiya hai abhi..

safar ka agla padhav shuru hone ko hai

bas disha ka pata nahi

uske milne ki khwahish mein

patvaar paani pe rakhke khadhe hain abhi

koi awaaz kahin se aaye

jo yeh bataye

ki chale aao, yehi hai sabse sahi

aur hum nikal padhen fir naye safar pe

fatah to hogi hi

woh to hamari fitrat hai

bas kuchh chhuti hui dishaon ka

hoga thoda gumaan

a phase in my life..

posted on : 27 September 2008

Excellence in mediocricity

Am trying to be perfectly mediocre.

Its not that am over confident or low on esteem..

But trying to be a 10ner sm where...

And then be content with the Level path between success n failure..

sky n down under

high n low

just with the flow...

solution..

posted on : 17 September 2008

har gum ko bhulane ki ek hi dawa hai

ki gum ke ahsaas ko bhool jao

jab tak gum ko yaad karoge

uske hone ka ahsaas rakhoge

woh rahega aur dukhega

jo usse mann se nikal do

uske astitva ko mita do

woh aur uske saaye ko hi bhula do

to naa woh rahega na uske hone ka gum

bas uss gum ko khone ka gum mat karna

uska to jashn hona chahiye

nahi.. woh bhi uski yaad dilayega..

to bas, jo jaise ho use vaisa hi rahne do

aur gum ka void khud bhar jayega..

fir tum aur tumhari begum...

dekhaa.. gaya na..

back from home..

posted on : 25 August 2008

am in the worst condition with a healthy mind and body in the most comfortable place possible

my hands dont know where to settle,

neither they want to type nor sit at my sides

my feet dont know where to go,

to hang in the air or fold in the chair

am in the middle of nowhere..

mind is bouncing topic to topic..

at least have got some good song to row myself in for a while..

but my eyes..

they are suffering the most..

they cant dream, cant see

cant rest, cant talk

cant open, cant close

my shoulders ..

they want to rest in mumma's lap

cuddle n hug her frail body as she has become..

this is a couple of days ordeal

which am sure would pass,

but till then this suffering would remind me of each moment spent at home

Sweet Home!!

I'm With You..

posted on : 8 August 2008

I'm standing on the bridge

I'm waiting in the dark

I thought that you'd be here by now

There's nothing but the rain

No footsteps on the ground

I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?

Won't somebody come take me home?

(Chorus)

It's a DAMP cold night!

Trying to figure out this life

Won't you take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I... I'm with you

I'm with you

(Mmm..)

I'm looking for a place

I'm searching for a face

Is anybody here I know?

'Cause nothing's going right

And everything’s a mess

And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?

Won't somebody come take me home?

(CHORUS)

Oh!

Why is everything so confusing?

Maybe I'm just out of my mind

Yeah.. yeah.. yeah!..yeah.. yeah,

yeah.. yeah, yeah yeah,YEAH...

It's a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life

Won't you take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I....!

I'm with YOU...

I'm with YOU...

Take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I!

I'm with you...

I'm with you...

Take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I

I'm with you

I'm with you

I'm with you

Artist:Avril Lavigne

Heard on FM and liked instantly.. could be my state of mind!!

dream..

posted on : 2 June 2008

oh what an ecstasy

what a fantasy

me and the clouds and some feelings around

me and the magic carpet on a flight..

no loads no strings attached..

a clutter I can see down below

but am far

far away from those..

the world of dreams

meaningless visuals and wandering in solitude

some whispering music

feeling of lost in woods

Sleepy with work on a Rainy Day!!

posted on : 28 May 2008

Load on me and me starting towards the pile of work..

While I should pick up my tools am advancing towards the pen..

Sky looks so gray and heavy and melancholic..

And me happy in its misery..

Drooping eyelids lead me to sins of sleep..

And head rolls back in Heavens of Bliss..

How I wanted each of them to come alone..

and how they conspire to arrive together

leaving me to resolve vows of love I made to each

and be guilty for each..

gulzar aur mai..

posted on : 25 January 2008

Geela mann shayad bistar ke paas padha hai..

Aadhe gile aadhe sukhe...

--------------------------------------

Raat ko andhere ke shor mein

Mai jab gungunati hun

Hawa ka har kona chorus mein gaata hai

Aur mere tute hue sur

ek bandish ban jaate hain..

khuda kaun, to pata nahi

par woh chup chap sunta rahta hai

shayad kisi sur mein taan bhi mila deta hoga

isilye raat ke geet kuchh paak sunai dete hain..

mai har din iss raat ka intezaar karti hun

nashe mein hone ka gumaaan rakhti hun

koi yeh na soche maine nasha shuru kar diya

bas zindagi ke nashe mein jeeti hun..

din se raat, raat se din

ka safar bhi

mujhe heraan karta hai..

ghadi ki har tik tik mein

zindagi ka safar dikhai deta hai..

gar jo yeh ghadi ruk jaye

mai sanson se unhe badha dungi,

har lamha isme mera hai

kuchh lamhe unme badha lungi..

Blank Space

posted on : 17 January 2008

Again world is a little blurred.

And haze is weaving around.

Again there are questions in my minds.

And there are roads snaking around.

And there are things I don’t understand

And I sometimes don’t want to....

Am angry...

I feel ditched. I feel insulted.

I feel beaten. I feel the failure.

I want to cry and am crying dry.

Is it the weather?

Or just some phase?

Or is it happening actually?

Questions galore, Answers numb...

Beautiful Song on a Summer Day...

posted on : 23 July 2007

Cool breeze like silk voice….

Would it heal all heat and fire to shades of blue….

Splash flowing, whispering ice in ears …..

Descriptive poetry like chill in air on a boiling day..

Me in a trance drenched in cool melody

And relaxed in chill of poetry..

My bass sounding melodic with melodious lady and magical hums..

Dark is a boon in the sins of light..

Light is a torch to dark shades..